Saturday, January 06, 2007

I caught my nipple in the door…

Last night the comedy gig in Leeds was awesome, it all went fabulously well. I came back to the hotel, got stripped and had a great shower, I haven’t been sleeping good, so I thought this would make me nice and sleepy and maybe I would get a full nights kip.
I came out of the bathroom naked (as you do) and then managed to crack my left tit off the door lock and scratch a gash into my nipple. The pain was fucking horrible, I jumped on the bed holding my giant boobs that was now bleeding and was terrified to look at it in case I had actually ripped off my nipple! I look like I was the victim of a sex attack from Fu Man Chu.
It wasn’t that bad- I have a deep scratch, yet still I managed to sleep.
Got up this morning and decided to go out for breakfast and book myself a back and neck massage.
The massage place was nice, the young girl showed me into the room and told me to lie face down on the bed which has a big hole for your face to go into, so you can breathe and get rid of your tension at the same time (seems reasonable).
The only problem is, if I lie face down my humongous boobs get squashed and there is no hole for them to fall into and remember ONE OF THEM has a cut on it!
So- much to the embarrassment of the young masseuse, I fashioned a bolster for my upper breast area to lie on from a big rolled up towel, it takes the pressure of my tits getting flattened. The girl was being professional at ignoring me and my scratched boobs.
So my last night at Leeds Jongleurs can only go well, I hope…and maybe just maybe I wont scar my other boob and go home to a very bemused husband who can only imagine what I get up to when I go on the road alone….and come home with tit injuries.

1 comment:

Nipon said...

Oh! that gave u some horrible pain. i hope you are ok now.