Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Sex and Pain…again!

Yes who would have thought this subject would come up again, but get this. Stressed out as I am, I finally fell asleep this morning at 4am. I was in one of those deep happy warm sleeps, when I am woke up because my mental husband got out of bed, came back in, saw my ass sticking out of the covers and decided ‘out of the blue’ to smack me really hard! Yes….I was awoken by a random act of violence.
My heart leapt out of my mouth, red rage seethed and I turned round to see him standing there smiling, so I jumped up and punched him right in the abdomen….see I can be sexy too!
I actually wanted to kill him, he was stunned that I was annoyed…why wouldn’t I be? I have just been attacked whilst I was asleep.
“I was trying to be funny and you looked sexy lying there” he gasped in between clutching his winded stomach.
“No, that wasn’t sexy, that was assault, you fucking nutter” I screamed at him rubbing a big red hand print on my fat ass.
So there we have it, I do NOT like sex and pain…finally.
I am still in the process of getting my posters designed and feel that no one actually gets what I am saying; the lady just looks at me as if I am crazy when I describe what I want on the screen. So I guess it’s me that fucked today and not anyone else.
Went out for dinner tonight with Jay, a mate from London, he is in Glasgow as he manages a top comic (He who shall not be named) and we had a good old natter, Jay is solid fun.
I am of to Cardiff this weekend and next week I am in London for six days. I am gigging and working on BBC radio 4 Loose Ends. I can’t wait to get back to London, away from the smacking husband and the stressful posters.

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