Sunday, February 05, 2006

No Escaping The Nightmares….

I stayed up late last night as I couldn’t sleep properly after having napped at 6pm –ish, so finally I went to bed at 4am. I had a multiple horrific type nightmare. I got out of bed in the dark, I didn’t know where I was, I banged my knee off the bedstead and tried hard to familiarise myself with the apartment. I rarely stay in the same one twice, so it’s hard to recall where light switches and the layout of the place.
So I managed to get into the hall and my brain was all fuggy, I was scared and confused as I desperately slid my hands on the walls that surrounded me looking for light switches.
Finally my hand felt something metal on the wall and I clicked it on, the light scorched my eyes, my brain was telling me to go back into the bedroom to find my phone and check what time it was as all the heavy drapes were pulled and I couldn’t tell from the sky outside what time of day or night I was in. My heart was pounding from the fear of the dream…nightmare dream to be honest.
The marble floor in the bathroom was warm and I remembered the under floor heating, but I was sweating and my hands felt sticky, I looked at my outstretched palms and my eyes could hardly take in what I was seeing, they were covered in blood…I turned to run out of the bathroom but the floor slipped beneath me and there standing in the hall was a man…I didn’t know who he was, I tried to scream but he leapt in one movement and grabbed my throat and held me down.
I saw his face as he got closer, I could see bits of flesh hanging off and his blood dripped into my eyes and made me blind. I tried to catch my breath and he took one fist and punched me hard in the chest and I felt my lungs empty in one swift gasp. I lay there and let the darkness swallow me and as my eyes cleared I saw a wee girl sitting in the shower, her nightdress was familiar, though I don’t know how, she was wet and shivering and begging for me to help her, but I couldn’t, I did try to get up but the man put his feet on my neck and reached over and grabbed the wee girl out of the shower. As she was pulled past me, she stared at me crying yet keeping eye contact and I recognised her…it was me when I was small. I know her and I felt her fear as she passed me.
I tried to shout at the man as he pulled her body across the bathroom floor, she reached out her hand to me to pull her back but my arms wouldn’t move and the man just stood her up and dragged her nightdress over her head, she stood there naked and I saw her skinny ribs on her back, she was covered in bruises and then…she just walked with him into the bedroom and I lay there shouting but nothing came out. I lay there and could hear her screaming as he panted. Then I woke up.
One day this will stop and I will save her, maybe not today.

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